Why Men Must Test Women First: A Dating Strategy to Avoid Emotional Bombs
Why Failing to Vet Women Early Leads to the Wrong Relationships—and How to Spot Red Flags Before It’s Too Late
Why Vetting Matters
In the modern dating landscape, men often make a critical mistake: failing to properly vet women before entering relationships. While women have long understood the importance of testing potential partners, many men—due to perceived limited options—skip this crucial step when a woman shows interest.
This oversight can lead to involvement with emotionally volatile, manipulative, or otherwise incompatible partners. The consequences? Wasted time, emotional damage, and potentially devastating long-term outcomes.
This article will provide you with practical strategies to identify red flags early, saving you from painful experiences down the road. We'll explore how to conduct "controlled detonations"—strategic tests that reveal a woman's true character before you've invested significant resources.
Understanding "The Bomb": Women Who Explode
Among the various types of women to avoid, one of the most dangerous is what I call "the bomb." These women explode at the slightest provocation—when you don't do something "right" or when you do something "wrong" by their subjective standards.
Characteristics of "Bombs":
They define "right" as what serves their interests and "wrong" as what doesn't
They label those who meet their demands as "good" and those who don't as "toxic," "unhealthy," or "sexist"
When triggered, they explode with self-righteous conviction
Their reactions may include yelling, pouting, name-calling, throwing objects, or threatening the relationship
These behaviors indicate emotional dysregulation at best and serious personality dysfunction at worst.
Why You Must Avoid Them:
If you enter a relationship with such a woman, only two outcomes are possible:
Constant conflict: You'll spend significant time fighting or conducting damage control
Walking on eggshells: You'll adjust your behavior to avoid triggering her, sacrificing your authenticity and peace
Both scenarios lead to unnecessary stress and complications. The good news? With proper testing, you can identify these women before meeting them, saving time, energy, and money.
The Controlled Detonation Approach
When bomb squads encounter suspicious packages, they take them to safe locations for controlled detonations. This renders real bombs harmless and confirms when packages are safe.
The same principle applies to dating.
The Job Interview Parallel
Dating is essentially an extended hiring process, with men in the employer position offering relationship opportunities. In job markets, interviews serve to eliminate problematic candidates early by testing their responses to potential impositions.
For example, asking "This job might require working Saturdays—would that be an issue?" reveals much about a candidate's:
Interest level in the position
Character and communication style
Perception of the power dynamic
Responses Reveal Character:
High interest, direct: "Absolutely, that's not a problem."
High interest, clever: "Normally I wouldn't, but for this company I'm willing to make an exception."
Moderate interest: "I can work Saturdays for double pay." (Shows they believe they're on equal footing and have other options)
The bomb: "How DARE you ask me to work Saturdays! That wasn't in the job description!" (Reveals entitlement and perceived superiority)
The explosive reaction doesn't stem from the request itself—it comes from character. Nothing prevented a simple "Unfortunately, I wouldn't be willing to do that." The explosion indicates either extremely low interest or a perceived superiority to the employer.
Testing Women in Dating: Practical Applications
Let's translate this concept to dating. How can men conduct controlled detonations before investing time and resources?
The Photo Test
One effective method is asking for pictures before meeting. This might seem controversial, but it serves multiple purposes:
It clarifies that this is a potential romantic/sexual relationship, not just a friendly meeting
It gauges her level of attraction to you
It tests her character and reactivity
Before proceeding, understand that you should only date women who:
Express high attraction to you
Demonstrate non-reactive, emotionally regulated character
The risks of ignoring these criteria are simply too high in today's dating climate.
Interpreting Her Response:
High interest, direct: She sends photos, perhaps with a flirtatious message
High interest, clever: "I don't usually do this, but you seem special and I trust you"
The bomb: "How DARE you ask for pictures! What kind of man are you?!"
The explosive reaction reveals both low sexual interest (despite being willing to take your time and resources) and a tendency to punish perceived violations of her expectations. This woman likely expects men to fit into her frame and provide a relationship on her terms.
How to Handle Detonations
When you successfully identify a "bomb" through controlled detonation, don't:
Argue with her
Defend yourself
Pressure her
Respond critically
Instead, be grateful she revealed herself before you invested anything. Simply respond with "Completely understandable. Thank you for your time" and move on to the next prospect.
Beyond Photos: The Bigger Picture
The specific test matters less than what it reveals. There are many ways women can demonstrate high interest and good character while maintaining modesty. The key is collecting reliable data on:
Her level of attraction to you
Her emotional regulation
Her character and communication style
Her perception of the relationship dynamic
This information allows you to make better decisions about how to allocate your limited resources of time, energy, and attention.
Conclusion: Your Dating Strategy Matters
Testing women before committing to relationships isn't about being manipulative—it's about self-protection and efficiency. By implementing strategic vetting processes, you can:
Avoid emotionally volatile partners
Identify women with genuine interest
Save yourself from painful, draining relationships
Build connections with emotionally healthy, compatible partners
Remember: The most precious resource in dating isn't money—it's your time and emotional wellbeing. Protect both by testing early and often.
Your future self will thank you for the relationships you avoided even more than for the ones you pursued.